A Stressful Week

So when I went to my ultrasound last week, I received a bit of distressing news. The ultrasound technician measured the baby's nuchal fold at 6mm. A nuchal fold of 6mm or larger is an indication of a genetic defect, most often Down's Syndrome. A bit of background. I, like I am sure many of you, decline the option of an amniocentesis. In my mind, it doesn't matter if my baby had Down Syndrome. As my husband so lovingly put it, "It's our baby, that's all that matters". I guess I have always thought that if I was meant to have a baby that had Down Syndrome, then the Lord would give me the strength that I needed to handle that challenge/blessing. There would be no point in knowing ahead of time. I was definitely not going to terminate the pregnancy and having the knowledge ahead of time would only cause me to stress out and worry until the birth of the baby, and then some. Those that know me well know that I can worry with the best of them. So here I am, not wanting to know such information, and my midwife tells me after my ultrasound that my baby POSSIBLY has ONE of the POSSIBLE indicators of Down Syndrome. She then schedules me for another ultrasound in 4 weeks and that's it!! No further information. My mind went into overdrive. I don't know if any of you have had a similar situation, but my brain was going nuts! I had all kinds of thoughts. How could I possibly handle that?? Most days I feel inept in parenting my toddler and often wonder what in the world I was thinking in bringing number 2 into the world!? Often the thought of two children overwhelms me, much less the possibility of being the mother to a child with special needs. I felt completely and utterly terrified. Not to mention David wasn't here and there was the great debate whether or not to tell him such information. Especially since I didn't know anything definitive and that there is nothing that he could do from boot camp but worry. By Friday I had had enough. I went from being the person who said I didn't care whether or not my baby had Down Syndrome to someone that NEEDED to know. Just that little tidbit of information was driving me crazy! Now that I knew it was a possibility I just wanted to know what I needed to prepare for. Truth be told, I didn't know very much about Down Syndrome and was scared. There is a woman in our ward whose 10th child was born with DS. I have watched their family grow up and have always been impressed with the ability of the parents as well as the siblings to love him unconditionally. At the same time, he is a crack up. He can always make others smile and is so giving. Watching the family I knew that there are so many blessings that come to those who have a person with DS in their lives. At the same time, I think that mother is a true saint and couldn't imagine having the qualities necessary to parent the way a special individual would need. I'm rambling, huh? Well anyway, I called back to the office on Friday and said that maybe I would take the option they had given to me of going down to Iowa City to have specialist give me an ultrasound. They said that was a good idea, that after looking at my file they felt that was best. This scared me even more. I'm a worse case scenario kind of girl and I kept thinking there must be something terribly wrong with the baby. The next few days there was a lot of inner reflection and prayer going on. On Sunday I got to talk to David and told him everything. He was super supportive and said all the right things. He is not a worrier and assured me that regardless of the outcome it would all be okay. Later that night in my prayers I finally got to the point where I could honestly say, "Thy will be done". I received strength and knew that no matter what, the Lord would be by my side and that with his strength I could handle anything. Monday I did a little research on the internet and found that there are at least 7 POSSIBLE signs of DS and that there was a whole school of thought that found any ultrasonic finding bogus in giving a diagnosis of Down Syndrome. They stated that you could only know for sure through an amniocentesis. My mind still said heck no. I didn't feel the risks of that procedure were worth settling my crazed mind. I went to my appointment yesterday with Britt. I felt a little better knowing more information about Down Syndrome and confident that regardless of the outcome, I could handle it. Still terrified, mind you. First we had to meet with a genetic counselor. She was super nice and answered all of my questions. Basically we needed to get a good look at the heart. At my last ultrasound the baby had been moving around too much to get a good look. She said the condition of the heart was one of the strongest indicators. We discussed the possible amnio and I said that I didn't want to make any decisions today and that after the ultrasound I would talk with David and we'd go from there. We went in for the ultrasound and I was so anxious. I was missing David something fierce. The technician started with the heart. 4 beautiful chambers with absolutely no visible defects!!! Then we checked several of the other indicators. The femur was a good length, the baby had nice long bridge in the nose, kidneys "beautiful", fingers and toes looked great. Then she rechecked the nuchal fold. The technician in Dubuque had measured it at 6mm. This measured it twice- 4.5 mm, well within the desired range! The doctor came in and basically said that the other technician must have measured wrong and that there were no visible indications of possible genetic defects. I was so relieved! Of course, an ultrasound isn't fool proof and there is always the possibility of complications. I am just so grateful that everything looks good right now. It was a definite test of my faith. I feel stronger and closer to Heavenly Father than before. I now know that such complications are a reality and that if they should happen, He will be my strength. Not to mention that I have a very supportive husband and family by my side. It has also made me so grateful for the miracle of Malia's birth and in complete awe of the whole miracle of life. This year, with the miscarriage and this whole situation, I am just amazed at the gift of life. Sorry I rattled on for so long. I am sure that I didn't really say everything the way I meant to but just wanted to let my feelings be known. As I read everyone's blogs I am constantly amazed by all of you wonderful mommies. You are all an inspiration. I just hope and pray that each of us is drawing on our greatest source of strength as we make it through the wonderfully challenging opportunity to be mothers. Go Mommies! With that being said, will someone come please potty train Malia for me?

It's a....

Ha! Ha! Just kidding. We did get the ultrasound today but we don't find out the sex of the baby. Going for the element of surprise. Overall, the baby looked great. We do have to get another ultrasound in 4 weeks because the baby was moving around so much that they need to double check a couple things. I missed having David by my side to share in the moment. Britt went with me and I am pretty sure people are beginning to think she is my "life partner"! I was grateful that she could be there. The first one is his/her running legs! The next is the baby's cute little face. I know that it is impossible to tell, but it looks more like David, if you ask me! Isn't technology fun?

An Excuse for the lack of posting....

In an attempt to keep myself busy while David is gone, I am currently the director of the play at my alma mater WDHS. This is my third year doing it. I love working with the kids and we are having a blast getting everything ready for the performance. We will be presenting "A Christmas Story" on December 12,13, and 14th. It has a tricky set, we have faced much opposition from the Athletic... I mean ACTIVITIES director, and we are running out of time and money! No fear, the show will go on. The kids are great and work super hard. In addition, Britt is helping out lots. Although, I do have an "official" assistant director. However, if you can't say anything nice than don't say anything at all!! David gets home in 39 days and I can't wait!!! Hope everyone is doing well. I am going to post some pictures of Malia as soon as I can.

A Farewell/Birthday Celebration

The Sunday before David left our family got together to celebrate with of course, great food. We were also celebrating all of the birthdays within our families (the ones geographically close: Mata, Hayes, Yount, and Hanselmann Families). Britt made an army cake at the request of the Hayes boys and it was appropriate for David's upcoming departure as well. We had a good time and it will be great to get together with all of the family at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The fun Army Cake (checkerboard inside):



Here are some of those celebrating birthdays recently (July, August, September): Row 1- Johnathan Hayes, Andrew Hayes, Row 2- Alex Hayes, Adam Hayes, David Mata, Row 3- Marianne Yount (my mom), Deanne Hayes (my aunt) holding Nora Hanselmann, Row 4- Eric Hayes (Deanne's husband- they are the parents of all those Hayes kids!)



We realized afterward that Malia, Nathan, and Chris were also August birthdays. Oops! In addition, David and Adam have February birthdays! We should have just taken a picture of everyone just to be sure. Oh, well. Happy belated birthday to all!

Hold back, Amanda! Two days of consecutive posting? Settle down! Here are some pictures of when David swore into the National Guard/Army back in September. The day all the fun began! I think I mentioned this before but David signed up through a program called "Active First". The way it works is that he is Active Duty with the Army for the next four years. After those four years, he can either go with the National Guard for four more years or he can continue in the Army. It all just depends on how well he and we like Army life. So far he is liking it. He does wish all the young punks would just learn to shut up and do as they are told! It's been interesting having our communication limited to letters. He is supposed to get to call on Sunday mornings but that is one of the privileges that can be taken away if his platoon doesn't behave. Not to mention the time set aside to call is also the time he can go to church. As much as I want to talk to him, I also want him to be able to go to church. It's been 10 days since we got to talk on the phone to each other. Hopefully soon. I do get letters from him, which is great. I love hearing how hard he is working and that he misses us so much. I must admit that I do get frustrated sometimes doing the parenting thing solo (I know, it's just the beginning!) However, I realize how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to be with Mali every day. David misses her something fierce and I do my best to keep him up to date on her. David loves getting mail so if anyone wants his address just let me know. He'd love to hear from you. It's great to hear the support of those that realize what he is doing is a great thing. You wouldn't believe some of the negative reactions we get. People can be so dumb. Regardless, I am grateful I have a husband who is so willing to serve his country and will do my best to support him.

Here is David getting sworn in...



Here is Malia supporting the National Guard...



Here is David and his recruiter, Klimack...

Seeing Sparks a Decade Later

Hello friends! I am slowly getting things together and that means pulling all the pictures off of my camera. In the middle of August I took my cousin down to Provo. Alyssa is studying at the Paul Mitchell Hair Academy and what better place to reside than Sparks II: Townhouses for Men and Women? It dawned on me as I was helping her unpack that I started my Sparks adventure exactly a DECADE prior!! Where does the time go??? I lived on campus my freshman year at BYU and spent that following spring semester in some apartments just south of campus (for the life of me I can't remember the name of them!). I started my sophomore year at Sparks and stayed there until I graduated. Good times!They've done a lot of updates to the place and I am sure that Aly will have a blast. Hopefully not too much fun... you need to study and work girly! By the way, Apartment #19 now has a reduced rate to compensate for the decreased square footage! The injustice! Aly is in apartment 20. It was great to visit and reminded me of all the great times I had there. Not to mention all of the great people I met! So there you go, a shout out to Sparks.




First is Malia terrorizing in the living room. Note the new couches and carpet.

Next is beautiful Aly putting her groceries away in the remodeled kitchen. Nice cabinets, huh?

I hate "good-byes" and "short hellos", so I avoid them!

So I am "settled" in Farley, Iowa now. Malia and I are living at my mom's house. Thanks, Mom! Britt helped me get unpacked and organized these last couple days. It sure is nice being by my sister. We have lots of fun together and our kids keep us busy. Nothing like a 3, 2, and 1 year old running around!
David and I left Lewiston last Tuesday. Sorry to all of those that I didn't say an official good-bye to. Truth be told I HATE good-byes. I'd rather just avoid them. To me I know I will see you all again SOMETIME so it's just easier to pretend mentally that I'm just going away for "a bit".
We left Lewiston on Tuesday and headed to Phoenix. We spent two very short days with David's family. We managed to squeeze in a trip to the Mesa Temple. David's mom and sister took Mali on a shopping trip. Good times! Then we began the arduous trek to Iowa and arrived Saturday afternoon. I realized I passed lots of you on my way around the country. I would have loved to stopped and spent time with everyone. Just not enough time! I would rather wait to see you all when we actually have time to spend with each other, instead of just a "short hello".
We were able to attend Dubuque Ward on Sunday as a family. For the last time for awhile. It was nice. I was hoping since Dubuque's sacrament is first, unlike Lewiston's being last, that it would somehow improve Malia's behavior. No such luck! Can't wait to wrestle her all on my own!
We met a family that just moved into the ward. The dad had just got back from Ft. Sill, OK where David is going! What a coincidence! We invited them out to our big family dinner that night. It was nice to have Bro. Fountain share his experiences at Ft. Sill and he also gave David a blessing before he left. It was fun to have dinner with all the family, Hayes' included! Britt even made an army cake for David and the Hayes boys' birthdays.
On Monday we tried to get everything done that we could and enjoy our last day together. We went to lunch at the old "Annie's", my mom's restaurant sold and is under new management, new name. It was...not good. I could go off all about it, but the point is that it just made me sad. It was sad to see something that my mom worked so long and hard for be changed into something not so good. Oh, well. Mom likes her job at the bank. We went and visited her at work so she could show off Malia.
David left the next morning from the Dubuque Airport for SLC. Yesterday he flew from SLC to New Mexico to Dallas to Oklahoma City. Then he had to take a bus from OK City to Fort Sill. What a long day of traveling! No thank you. I spoke to him on the phone several times yesterday and he just amazes me! I would have been super cranky given all the traveling. He was just pumped about starting Basic Training! I hope everything goes well for him. I know he will be great. I'm glad Mali and I are here with my family, it will make being away from David somewhat bearable. I'll miss my other families and friends in Phoenix, Logan, and Lewiston tons. Thanks to everyone again so much for all of your help and support. Sorry again for the lack of goodbyes. I'll post some pictures later.